Being. Me

Walls vanish into the light of a sunrise. The space feels endless. I see it and I move not. It fills me instead.

First the nothingness, then comes the everlastingness. It is already here, and always has been. The edge of a circle.

And this is how it breathes life. Forever, endlessly, being space and time, being you, being me. Being explicitly inexplicable.

Moneyless Home-Country Walking

“Hello, my name is Robin and I walk through the Netherlands. I do this because I don’t want to go faster than my feet can bring me and because I want to discover more about the culture that I grew up in. To dive deeper into Dutch culture and into myself, I also choose to not bring a phone, computer, bank-cards or money, and instead to completely rely on people’s goodwill for food and whatever else they want to share.”

For a little over three weeks I walked through the Netherlands, from the west to the east, from the city where my house is at (Amsterdam) towards the German border. And it was fabulous: the things you learn, the people you meet and nature that you reconnect with. Most of the nights I slept in forests, of which there are surprisingly many around, falling asleep in my hammock around sunset and waking up by birds before sunrise.

After three months of money-less travelling in Portugal last year and now these three weeks of walking in my home-country (of which people said it would be “impossible”) I am getting better adjusted to it: the hunger you can feel sometimes, dealing with desires of the things you want and surrendering to whatever life brings you, at any given moment. And the funny thing, the more I experience it, the more I actually want it, because of what you learn from it. As such any experience is neither negative, nor positive; they are just life. And as such they are equal to the joy you feel when people give you food, invite you for a coffee or take you in their homes.

People’s responses are equally worth it. Some envy me, others think I am crazy and again others simply reject my life, seeing it as a threat to theirs. “Why don’t you go home and make money instead, you’re a fool!”, was one of the most extreme responses that I received. Most people though have a lot of respect for my decisions and thanks to them (and the occasional dumpster treasure) I’ve enjoyed breakfast, lunch and dinner at fast-food restaurants, exclusive hotels, lunch-rooms, as well in the intimate spheres of people’s homes, after variations of the introduction on the top of this post. And so far I’ve never ever really had, what you would call, ‘hunger’.

Every step I take is another challenge, every step is one that carries me further towards life and at the same time one that brings me closer to understand the self. And it ain’t over yet. This country has a lot more to explore. When I don’t know yet, but this is to be continued… from the place I left it – but I am sure that by then we will already be further.

Worth The Wait

The cars go about their own lives, the people in the metallic boxes do not see me and just follow their own routes. Unconcerned about this guy who smiles kindly to them and waves occasionally. “What does he want from us?” their eyes seem to say.

Some wave back, bringing their hands up to their shoulders and shrug, but the only ones that actually do stop are locals who have nowhere to go but who are kind enough for a chat. “He probably needs help,” is what they think.

There are times when you are totally surrendered to a situation. That you know there is nothing else to do but to wait and to do nothing. Nothing. You can only do nothing to change the situation. Feeling pressure is futile, it will only make the situation harder to digest. Pressure only stays in your head, making your thoughts repeat in circles. To resign myself and fully accept the situation as it comes to me, is the only option I have to stay healthy, and positive.

Also on this day, while waiting to cross the border to France and my last rice cookie is behind my teeth. I chew it slowly until it has disappeared fully. I think about eating more. The roadhouse in front of me, next to the petrol station in the Catalan Pre-Pyrenees twenty kilometers before the French border where I have been now for nearly 24 hours, is about to close in some hours.

Shall I just go in and ask for some food? No, I decide. Last night they already gave me a baguette with cheese and a large cake that I used for breakfast. If they would like to give me more, they will offer it to me, as they know I am here, and what I am here for.

I slept well. A wonderful night I had and I look back, full of satisfaction. I arrived here at the end of the afternoon after some fantastic days but I could not find a car to pick me up. Behind the petrol-station in a small wood was the perfect piece of land for my tent. Moreover, it was full moon and thanks to the light that a full moon gives, the view over the mountains and the river that flows towards Barcelona, had been great.

Now I am walking back and forth the rest-area. I’ve been awake for more than eight hours now and I don’t think much. Instead I do my walking meditation: I put my attention to the movements of my body and my breathing. Rest settles over me like a warm soft blanket and the trust remains, that everything will be fine — even though people ignore me and my almost empty belly.

While walking I leave the luggage behind at the outlet of the pump and decide to sit on the rocks in front of the restaurant, without illusions. I keep myself quiet, am not even sticking my thumb up anymore. Until I suddenly see two guys walking towards my luggage, inspecting it, picking up my bag, and starting to walk away with it. I laugh at this interesting situation: would they like to also take me if they know I belong to that luggage?

Unfortunately not. They excuse themselves in French. They thought that the luggage was left behind by the motorcycle club who had just been here. “But maybe you can take me across the border?” I ask. They say that our roads are not the same and leave me standing behind, puzzled a bit. They drive away with two French cars. In the second car I see a free spot, besides a beautiful girl smiling at me and who gives me a curious look. Another story that is not supposed to become one, I say aloud to myself. And I sigh.

Then after half an hour a Dutch car arrives. Let’s check the state of solidarity, me being from that country as well. He goes the other way. “Otherwise, I would definitely have taken you,” the man says kindly enough and sincerity speaks from his eyes. So I will have to hold on, but for how much longer? Will I sleep here another night, but this time feeling hungry?

More than one hour later, yet another Dutch car arrives, this time with a caravan. Is this it then? Is this my ride? Will I finally be crossing the border? A woman gets out of the passenger door and walks into my direction. Beside the caravan we have a chat. I explain to her who I am and why I’m here. And this is when the miracle happens: she is fine with bringing me across the border, “If my husband is so too”.

And he is — although they normally don’t take hitchhikers. I hardly know the joy I feel, after nearly twenty-four hours of waiting and I walk back to the woman, telling her the good news of her husband agreeing, and she looks at me and says: “We first wanted to have dinner at the restaurant. Would you like to have some food too?” How could she tell?! I hadn’t even old her anything about my way of traveling, apart from the hitching.

Half an hour later I’m in the car with them, cheerful and with a happy belly. In the end they decide to take me to their holiday-home further into France, situated within an incredibly beautiful rolling countryside, while during the ride I share stories about my journey without money, and living with what people give me. I will not forget their response: “Perhaps others think so, but for us you are not a bum. What you do, more people should undertake. “

The next day, after some local wine, nice conversations and a good night’s sleep, they put me on the road in direction Toulouse, and they give me some bread for on the road. I also get a jar of peanut butter to go with it. Peanut butter, how much I had been looking forward to you in the past three months! How I have been yearning to have your taste in my mouth and your energy in my body! So yes, everything does come your way, and the peanut-butter was definitely worth the wait.

Photos and Recap Portugal Trip

One of the last photos I took while in Portugal before my camera died (I had no charger with me anymore after all my electronic stuff got stolen almost 2 months earlier). I woke up early and found this beautiful landscape just behind the hill that I slept on, in an abandoned house in Odemira.

Oh Portugal. How much I loved hitching, cycling and hiking on your roads, your dunes, and cliffs. Wild nature, and wonderful people. Amazing hospitality and what an experience to do all this without money! Just going around the bars and restaurants asking for left-overs, and many times the food would just appear right in front of me. Eating fruits of trees and finding veggies all along my path, and people inviting me over.

From North to South, literally from the furthest border to the most opposite side, by walking and hitching and staying over in Vila Nova de Cerveira, Viana do Castelo, Porto, Espinho, Mira, Coimbra, Talasnal, Tomar, Lisboa, Seixal, Alcácer do Sal, Carvalhal, Sines, Porto Covo, Vila Nova de Millfontes, Almograve, Odemira, Zambujeira, Azenha, Odeceixe, Rogil, Aljezur, Sagres, Salema, Lagos, Silves, Benafim, Vilamoura, São Brás de Alportel, Tavira and Vila Real de Santo António.

Highlights are numerous, and I am still writing my stories. But one of my personal favourites was Vila Nova de Millfontes, the second town on my unplanned hiking trail. I arrived in the morning, after walking for 6 hours by moonlight over the highest dunes I had ever seen. Coffee and breakfast was given by a nursery, and lunch was provided by some Bulgarians with a restaurant. But my path was blocked by a river and the bridge was far, and I wanted to cross in a more traditional fashion. So I decided to wait at the harbor for a local to bring me across by boat, which happened, without much waiting involved. His ex-wife was Dutch, and so he liked me. My first time hitching on a boat!

Recapping my experience, I finally had time to publish my photos. Not all of them, as I lost half of my photo-collection after being deprived from my computer, money and phone in the beginning of my way. But that reality was not as bitter as it may appear, as that triggered a set of events that changed my perspective on life tremendously. Ah, where life brings you when you simply surrender and trust!

[zenphotopress album=32 sort=random number=25]

Water is Life

I am on a raft, a small structure with little protection, in a river going through a jungle, to the sea. I can’t tell what’s behind the next curve, if the water will go faster or slower. If there are more rivers or if the pace remains the same. All I know is that I am in the water.

Sometimes I want to go faster, and then I actually find it holding me back. The faster I want, the slower I move. And sometimes when I desire to go slower, the water hurries me faster.

Other boats come on my path from separate rivers. Some surfboards, small motorboats and others are like gigantic castles with protection all over. I overpass these bigger boats quickly, no matter the engines they carry. They are too heavy for the water to be carried by the river.

Some boats I see together, others collide, with people drowning or just able to swim. Others again find new boats, abandoning ship, loosing identity and their original path. How will they make it to the sea?

I feel a boat close to me, bumping from the back. I try slowing down but the water lets me go, and faster I flow.

We pull up ropes and bind ourselves together. Why I don’t know. For safety it is not. As the water lets us go faster, a waterfall approaches and I can’t avoid to jump: I have to get off my raft!

Looking for cover, I swim closer to the shore, holding on to branches which sometimes slap my face and I climb over slippery rocks that make me fall when I want to get up. A wave comes in and the water dumps me into a swamp, where mud is all over and everything gets stuck.

But then I understand this is where I am to be. That this is part of the path that sets me free. That a pause is only a different movement, and a stop equally an action. And a new current comes in, bringing me into the stream.

I find my raft, together we go through showers of rain, into mist, and later when it all clears I notice a boat in front, hindering some of my sight. But I also notice we are yet again floating towards the sea.

A bird lands on my shoulder and whispers: “Go slow, don’t hurry yourself down. The sea is yet far, and is not where you are supposed to be. Be free and feel your raft as if you were one. Let yourself float, enjoy the streams and sail towards the sea”.

For a second there I wish for wings to fly me over the sea, just like the bird. What? Am I really so much enslaved to being free? And I find the answer enclosed within the question, and I just let myself and the river be.

Always Furthur

Silence. I am here to understand what is coming, instead of thinking where I should be running. Seeing the so-called endless possibilities, ideas spread in me like fire… and I hold on to sitting still. Silence, you bring what no word can!

Inside. I travel to far away places with a body that remains seated. To places I have been before, but deeper we go. I let the space surround me and I fill it with invisible motion, letting thoughts witter away.

By myself in a house that many came to refer to as casa. A home that is centered around people and one that indeed made lots of movement. A space that now is empty of people, a space that now fills me differently, with silence.

Roaming Around Portugal

Green hills, spectacular sunrises and sunsets, smashing views over cliffs and dunes, great food and a wonderful culture. I thought I was going to be here for two weeks, but Portugal already has got me going for eight.

I was on my way for the Third European Hitchhiking Festival but I got stranded in the north of Portugal, just over the border with Galicia in Spain, for my own private festival: a weekend of learning, re-finding myself (after  a couple of really intense hitching-days) and getting inspired by new experiences and understandings of life.

And that understanding is what kept me going for the past 8 weeks, having experienced some of the most beautiful rides in my life, and the warmest hospitality. I also went on an exploration of nature here, as I followed a hiking-trail for about seven days along the coast in Southern Portugal. It was wonderful to be away from people for such a long time and to be so close with nature.

Ever since I arrived in Portugal I also have lived with zero money, receiving food from restaurants, snackbars and people. Sometimes you don’t even have to ask, and it just appears in front of you! I have been very greatfull to learn how traveling without money works. And I can assure you:  it ain’t the easiest way, but sure it is the most rewarding.

New Design

Next to setting up my new photo-website, yet another thing on my list since long: to host my blog myself and change how it looks. Finally accomplished. I am happy how it integrates with my photos and also other features, such as the ‘lifestream’ with all sorts of my online activity that are automatically generated and nicely presented in one clean overview.

And after more than a year of css-editing, it took me less than some hours to make this theme ‘mine’. For the most part it also has the same look-and-feel as my photo-site that I worked on a couple of months ago: http://photos.robokow.net

The only challenge was to customize the front-page and change some of the features that came with the default theme Irresistible from WooThemes. For example, inside the customized home-page I had to replace the Flickr-widget with ZenPhotoPress, which turned out to be a lot easier than I thought.

There is still some other things on my list (a good overview of projects I am involved in, for example as in a portfolio) but we are getting closer.

Somewhere in Portugal

Hundred-and-fifty people and amazing fun in Paris two years ago, just over a hundred in Odesa last year (a lot harder to get to, see video) and non-stop hitching adventures. The ones gathered are hitchhikers, first-timers and hardcore travelers. Nice reunions of friends and contacts, of people who share-alike.

Both times I helped (un)organising the events. And this year again I do my part, setting up the website hitchgathering.org and helping out with communications and outreach.

I am not so much of a scouter and both last years the location of where to meet was pretty much left to the last minute, literally. And again for this year, we have no clue yet where to meet, except for “somewhere” in Portugal. Fantastic, and perfectly alligned with a hitchhiking attitude.

It ain’t easy for people to embark on quite a big trip to Portugal if they never hitched before, and especially if people have to hitch through Spain (which can be a bit of an adventure). So there is a challenge for many of us to inspire and motivate them.

Happy Celebrations

This year I had a really great birthday-celebration. As a surprise I received dozens of e-mails and phone-calls from all sorts of (old) friends and people who stayed over in my house. And quite some people also came over to celebrate my 32th with me.

The day started with a great practical joke: on the casa-site I found myself back in a photo with the Dutch Royal Crown. If that wasn’t enough already, it came with a story “that several royals from across Europe will Hitchhike for the milestone birthday!”

Three Generations
Three Generations

Birthdays for me are always a good moment to reconnect with old friends and lost connections, which this year turned out very well. As another surprise, I even had grandpa coming over. It was great to see my 91-year-old opa here.

It is just wonderful to see how people care for you and what they do to show you their care. I received poetry, a painting, many good wishes and the people who are currently staying with me in the house, took really good care of visitors, a clean casa, and food around the clock.

My birthday this year encompassed a lot more than I expected. Therefore: a Huge Thank You!